How to avoid buying gender stereotypical gifts

My daughter is girly. Really girly. Her favorite color has always been pink. She pretended to talk on the phone before her vocabulary had exceeded six words. And my son? Ninety percent of the pictures he’s drawn since he picked up a crayon are of cars and robots. He owns his own miniature screwdriver and uses it often. Why are they like this? I have no idea. Their father and I don’t have any stereotypical feminine or masculine tendencies. In fact, it was only through my daughter that I finally made peace with “frilly”. We could blame it on TV, but television was practically unknown to our kids. We are stumped. And amused. Frankly, we didn’t want to push our kids into gender roles, but we weren’t going to push them out of their own personalities. There’s really nothing wrong with being “girly” or “boyish” in general, I guess… That being said, parents can broaden their child’s experience in a fun way without disregarding the child’s own preferences altogether. My daughter watches transformers. My son practically lived in his favorite vest all summer. It’s black with plaid pink trim.

__Let’s Go Outside And Play__

Maybe boys get most of the credit for it, but if you’ve ever been outside an elementary school during recess, than you know all kids love to be active. Some kids are more athletic than others, but the endorphins and improved circulation that come from running around in the yard are universal (an idea that adults might want to remember too). Jump-ropes, basketballs, sprinkler toys, pools, etc. can make playing outside even more fun. For the more laid back child there are explorer kits with magnifying glasses and bug nets, beach toys, and pint size garden tools. Beach toys are also great for snow play.

__Look What I Made!__

Art and craft supplies are always a good go-to for gender neutral gifting. Try to choose supplies which are age and parent appropriate. There is usually a label stating the age range for supplies such as paints and modeling clay. Buy from the school supply section. If the gift is not for your child, you should be aware that some parents don’t like messy paints, clays, markers, etc because they end up on the wall or the carpet or grama’s sleeping forehead. Beads (for older children), construction paper, pipe-cleaners, and foam cutouts are good alternatives.

__The Eye Of the Beholder__

In the end you might just have to ask yourself, “is it really a gender specific toy?” Sometimes we might classify a toy based on our own assumptions. When I was a kid, my sister and I would visit our cousin about once a week, barbies in tow. Our cousin always wanted to play barbies. We always wanted to play with his cars. You can bet my parents, liberal as they were, didn’t think twice about overshooting the Hotwheels aisle during Christmas time. Unless, of course, they were buying a present for my cousin. Young children however, don’t categorize fun as easily.

There are plenty of toys which can cross between boys and girls. A toy kitchen is a good idea. Keep the colors more or less gender neutral if you want, but don’t buy a white kitchen with brown details or the like. Boring! Observe your own life for more ideas. Although most duties are now shared between women and men, parents still tend to classify “life” toys according to tradition when it comes to picking out presents. Play tools, food and plate sets, toy store or office equipment, etc. can all be enjoyed by boys and girls.

Perhaps the first place to start is by letting go of our own preconceptions. Maybe one day you can even buy your four year old nephew that tropical princess barbie he mentioned without wincing.