Мэган Фокс отъедает фигуру

Как оказалось, Майкл Бэй (Michael Bay) не любит слишком худых женщин, считая их непривлекательными.

Ввиду этого, режиссер второй части «Трансформеров» («Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen») поставил актрисе Мэган Фокс (Megan Fox) настоящий ультиматум: либо девушка набирает, по меньшей мере, пять килограмм веса, либо звезду оригинального фильма во второй картине заменят.

Несмотря на то, что 22-летняя Фокс недавно была названа самой красивой знаменитостью по версии «FHM», теперь актрисе приходится «отъедаться», чтобы не потерять роль в фильме, съемки которого начнутся уже меньше, чем через месяц.

 

What is Love? Part 3 of 5

Love, Pleasure or Affirmation ? Part 3 of a 5 part series.

Needing Others for Pleasure

Let us examine how our needs for pleasure and affirmation can limit and distort our experience of love.

We create relationships that give us pleasure and affirmation as well as security. We may be dependent upon the other for money, shelter, sex, travel, clothing, encouragement, compliments, humor, tasty food, a clean house, comforts, or even his or her beauty.

Yet, if he or she stops providing these for us, or decides to provide them for someone else, do we continue loving that person or do we feel hurt, disillusioned, and overcome with feelings of injustice, anger and perhaps revenge?

The condition here is that “I love as long as you provide me pleasure, happiness or excitement. If you stop, my feelings change.” It is conditional love.

Needing Others for Affirmation

We may also depend on someone for affirmation. This may take various forms.

1. We are affirmed when others obey us. “You listen to me and do what I say. I can control you. That makes me feel powerful and worthy. If, however, you stop doing whatever I say, I will stop feeling love and unity with you.”

This becomes a problem for parents when their children move into adolescence. This can also occur between spouses. In many countries a wife might be suppressed at first, and thus, the husband feels powerful and affirmed. If, however, she begins to think and act for herself, he begins to panic and can become angry and sometimes aggressive. The roles may also be reversed where the woman controls and feels affirmed.

2. We also feel affirmation when someone needs us or is dependent on us. This could occur between parent and child, teacher and student, friends, or between the “savior” and the “needy.”

In these cases, the “needed” feels affirmed by and perhaps superior to the “needy”. This is one aspect of codependency. Some of us find meaning in life because someone needs us or depends on us. If however, the other doesn’t want to be the child, the student or the needy one anymore, do we feel the same attraction and love? If not, our love is mixed with our need to be “needed”.

In such a case, we need to give, offer, and sacrifice in order to feel useful, worthy or boost our self-image. If this is the case, then all that we offer in these situations, all our sacrifices, are actually for ourselves and not for the others.

That does not negate the fact that others may actually need us, or that we also simultaneously have feelings of altruistic love. We are often motivated by two or three motives simultaneously

3. A third aspect of this attraction for affirmation is the situation in which we “love” those “who affirm our rightness”, either verbally by telling us we are right, or simply by belonging to the same social, political, religious or spiritual group and thus embrace a similar belief system.

“I love you because you agree with me, you are like me, you affirm me”. If they change beliefs and convert to another political party, religion, or spiritual group, will we feel the same closeness and “love?” Perhaps yes, perhaps no.

A fourth aspect of this affirmation principle is infatuation – called “Eros” (in Greek “erotas”) or “falling in love”. In this case there is a mutual (occasionally only one-sided) infatuation on the physical, sexual, emotional and sometimes mental level. This is a special attraction between two persons who excite, bring joy to and stimulate each other positively. This positive stimulation often has to do with the needs for security, pleasure and affirmation.

This intensity of these feelings seldom lasts more than a few years. The couple then has the possibility of transforming their “Eros” into a steady form of unconditional love, or facing the sadness of conflict and / or separation. Sooner or later, we will come face to face with the other’s various negative aspects, and if we cannot love them as they are, the relationship suffers.

Until we are able to love unconditionally, we will be unhappy, insecure and frequently in conflict with those around us. We will be able to do this only when we have matured sufficiently so as to experience inner security, inner satisfaction, inner freedom and a steady feeling of self-worth.

In other words, we can love purely only those who we do not need.

When we need others, we cannot love them unconditionally. This might be difficult to comprehend at first, but deep thought and observation will prove it to be true. Being able to love without conditions is a basic prerequisite for both a happy life and spiritual evolution.

Be sure to look for the remaining the parts of this series:

1. What is Love ?
2. Love or Need for Security ?
3. Love, Pleasure or Affirmation?
4. Selfless Love
5. Spiritual Universal Love

 

After a divorce: Tips for dealing with anger

After the divorce is final, the grieving over a failed marriage continues. Anger is a natural part of dealing with any loss. There always comes that time when your frustration at a situation that leaves you feeling helpless to fix reaches a peak. This frustration usually transforms into anger.

Anger is not a problem unless two things happen. It will be a problem if your anger is channeled into violent behavior. This is never good regardless of the cause of the anger. When anger erupts as violence, people get hurt, things get broken, and someone may get into trouble with the law. It is better to learn to deal with anger than to allow it to fuel aggressive violent behavior.

The second result of anger is that it settles in as a long-term guest in your life. It can take two possible forms if it does. The first thing that can happen with unresolved anger is that it drives a need for revenge. Some say that revenge is sweet. It is never satisfying. Revenge will only leave you with guilt and regret if you are functioning normally. Next, anger just settles in as gross unhappiness and bitterness at everything and everyone.

Bitterness can make you mean and difficult to get along with in every circumstance. You need to find a way to root out bitterness before it takes hold. The only real way to avoid bitterness is to deal with the anger and move on.

You have a choice with anger. You can let it rule over you, or you can take charge and decide that anger will not win. The first step is to realize that there are just some things in life that you cannot help. No matter what you would have done differently, the result would have probably been the same. Often, divorce falls into this category.

It might have been possible to head off the divorce years earlier. By the time you realize that divorce is imminent, there is little left to fix. Your energy to fix it is usually gone too. It just seems better to let go than to hang on. I am not a fan of divorce, but once the attorneys are called in, there is not much that can stop the process.

Since the divorce was not something you could completely control, being angry at the divorce or the ex-spouse is generally wasted energy. If you need to write a letter and vent, do it. Send it to your ex-spouse and forget it. Do not make threats. Just state the facts and your regrets. Mail it. Move on.

Get involved with charity work or a bowling league. Find something to eat up those extra hours that you will use to feel sorry for yourself and feed your anger. If you do not feed it, it will starve to death. Get more involved with your kids, or take a class. Anything that you can do to feel more alive is a good thing. For now, you are somewhat free. Take some risks and enjoy it.

Look for the positives about being single again. You have no one to really answer to other than your kids. If you become me outgoing and fun, they will be the benefactors, too. Do not worry about keeping up with your ex-spouse. Learn to be yourself. Build a life that includes your kids, but not your ex-spouse. It can be done, and it is worth the effort.

 

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Trailer

 

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen Optimus Prime (legend)

 

Transformers ROTF: Megatron and Starscream Reunited (Stop-Motion)

 

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

 

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

 

ROTF Leader Class Optimus Prime

 

Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen (game trailer 2009)

 

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