Testimonies: Being a fan of Shia Labeouf

I’m currently sporting a blue plastic bracelet that says “I LOVE SHIA LaBEOUF” courtesy of EBAY. Welcome to my life.

Speaking of the sadness that has crashed over my life like a tsunami on a small village off a coast somewhere, I have a recent pathetic story involving Mr. Labeouf to get out of my system. I noticed on IMDB.com, my Mecca, that Shia Labeouf signed on for the sequel to Transformers, now named “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”. FYI, do not call it Transformers 2, Michael Bay will get heated. Anyway, after hearing of Shia’s new film, I researched it as much as possible and made a miraculous discovery. The new Transformers was being filmed in Philadelphia, located a mere 45 minutes away from my current dwelling. A light from above was shining on me when I came across a casting call for extras. “This could be my chance”, I thought, “my one chance to meet the man whos name I wear around my wrist.” I employed my brother to be my entertainment as I waited in line at the casting call one rainy May day. We got to the front of the line and a woman told my brother and me to go in a separate room. This was a good sign; it meant they were considering using us! We got our pictures taken and were given information that the casting agency would call us if need be. Days and days past and my phone lit up with numbers I had seen before. One day as I returned home from a horrendous day of small highway rush hour traffic, my brother informs me that he got the gig, not me. Alas, he “acted” on set as an extra with Shia Labeouf in several scenes. Even conversing with Shia on down time and wishing him a happy 22nd birthday. If only this could have been me. I wonder, if I was in my brother’s place, would this interaction feed my obsession or crush the pedestal that I hold Mr. Labeouf on.

I have never had a celebrity crush. Sure, I find several figures in the public eye to be good-looking and intriguing but none have the appeal as my Shia. I often times ask myself, “Why am I drawn to a guy like Shia?” It’s his carefree anti-Hollywood attitude. I’m attracted to the jerks, the guys who act like they don’t care about anything and who will do anything regardless of the consequences. Shia doesn’t aim to please the masses with his late-night partying shenanigans or his carefully planned out media interview answers. He’s real; he tells it like it is. He’s the way I imagine I would be if I was in his situation. It’s hard to sum up my infatuation with Shia, I feel Jay-Z described himself and through the mind of Mr. Labeouf when he said, “I’m not a business man…I’m a business, MAN!”

Shia Labeouf is a business; he’s like a well-oiled machine. From one perfect performance to the next, Shia is pumping out the hits like he’s Will Smith in 1999. Shia can do no wrong; I mean come on, his last name means “the beef”. At this rate Shia Labeouf will undoubtedly take over the world one action flick at a time, I’m convinced. Never underestimate the power of a half-Jew!