Legend of Paradise in Alamut

Examining a critical and analytical approach of the sources, it is almost possible to clarify that the fortress of Alamut was situated in rocky and infertile region, and its physical condition during occupation was very much rough and coarse. It was embosomed with swamps and muddy tracts, accounting unhealthy atmosphere. Hasan bin Sabbah immediately embarked on the task of renovating the castle, which was in great need of repairs, improving its fortifications, storage facilities and water supply sources. He also improved and extended the system of irrigation and cultivation of crops in the Alamut, where many trees were planted. Thus, a fertile spot emerged out, tending an eye-catching scene in the barren ranges of Elburz Mountain. The fertile tracts of the valley radically began to appear as if an oasis in the desert.

Whenever, the Alamut was threatened, the enemies had to come from Ispahan to Rudhbar after passing through the tedious and barren regions, and pitched their camps at the pastures of Alamut. While retreating, the frustrated forces took their revenge by mutilating and cutting down the luxuriant crops and devastated the smiling fields in order to quench the thirst of hatred and passion. Their temper was also crystallized into romantic stories. Firstly, it was rumored that the valley of Alamut had been transformed into the gardens of paradise, but it proved an ineffectual among the local people. Instead, the enemies contrived another florid story that so-called paradise existed inside the fortress. Since it was difficult to ascertain the story by the local people, it received a less credence in some quarters, whose bits and shreds were sorted out by the later writers to embellish a tale in exaggeration. Thus, the failure to eliminate the Ismailis, begot in its turn the idea of myths and tales. Round a trifling thing has thus grown up a crop of fables, making it a curious hodgepodge. According to Encyclopaedia of Religion and Ethics (London, 1958, 2:140), “Hasan bin Sabbah caused the land surrounding his fortress to be carefully cultivated, and this may have led to the legend of paradise.” It was the Venetian traveller Marco Polo (1254-1324) to have heard from the villagers and narrated in his book. He was accompanied by his father and uncle and embarked on his journey to the court of Kubilai Khan (1260-1294). Macro Polo started from Acre in 1271, and passed through Iran in 1272, about 15 years after the reduction of Alamut when it was almost a heap of ruins. He committed his itinerary to writing through a scribe in 1298 and related what he had heard in Iran concerning the tale of paradise in Alamut. His ridiculous account however cannot be credible. It is inferred that he would have never crossed near the ruins of Alamut, and the description of the castle in Marco Polo’s book was either the stronghold of Girdkuh near Damghan, which was finally surrendered to the Mongols in 1270, about two years before he crossed Khorasan into northern Afghanistan; or, more probably, some fortress in eastern Kohistan. There he evidently had seen a ruined castle of the Ismailis. His itinerary however did not take him to Alamut, which appears to be the castle alluded to in his account. He had heard from some local informants, which he admits in the beginning, and therefore, his account is admittedly not based on personal observation. It also cannot be denied that Marco Polo’s account bears a distinctly occidental imprint, reflecting the influences of different reports, which are ultimately traceable to Burchard of Strassburg, Arnold of Lubeck and James of Vitry. It is therefore possible that Marco Polo had knowingly conflated the information he had acquired some 30 years earlier in Iran, with the legends then prevalent in Europe for the Ismailis of Syria. All this sounds to the conclusion that Marco Polo could not have heard his account in its entirety from his informants in Iran.

Marco Polo applied the term Ashishin (or Assassin) for the Ismailis. It has been asserted that the term Assassin had originally acquired currency in Crusader circles in reference to the Ismailis of Syria, and it was neither originated or prevalent in Iran, and therefore, Marco Polo could not have heard the term Assassins from his informants in Iran. His curious application of the title of Old Man of the Mountain (Vetus de Mountain, or Viel de la Montaigne) to the ruler of Alamut; also suggests a doubtful description. This title has been coined by the Crusaders for the chief of the Ismailis of Syria, and it was never in usage among the Ismailis of Iran. It is therefore, safe to infer that Marco Polo would have never heard the title of Old Man of the Mountain in Iran, but he used in the light of the then informations prevalent in Europe for the Syrian Ismailis. It will be interesting on this juncture to quote the description of Marco Polo about the secret garden of paradise. He narrates:-

“So he had fashioned it after the description that Mahomet gave of his paradise, to wit, that it should be a beautiful garden running with conduits of wine and milk and honey and water, and full of lovely women for the delectation of all its inmates. He kept at his court a number of the youths of the country, from 12 to 20 years of age, such as had a taste for soldiering, and to these he used to tell tales about paradise, just as Mahomet had be wont to do, and they believed in him just as the Saracens believe in Mahomet.. The prince would then ask whence he came, and he would reply that he came from paradise! and that it was exactly such as Mahomet had described it in the law.”

It is important to note that it was the tendency of the occidental sources to propagate that the Koran was not a heavenly revealed book, but it was designed by the Prophet, and whatever the misconception of Islam was popular in Europe at that time, is evidently echoing in the narration of Marco Polo. It gives further gravity to the conclusion that Marco Polo could not have heard such tendency from his Iranian informants. Peter de Venerable (1094-1156) had the Holy Koran translated for the first time from Arabic into Latin. Peter de Cluny (d. 551/1156) and Robert of Ketton also produced the Latin translation of the Koran in 538/1143, and it was followed by the translation of Mark of Toledo (1190-1200) under the title of Alcorani Machomati Liber. Joinville and Pedro de Alfonso and other followed them in the 12th century, had dwelled polemically on the hedonistic delights of the Islamic garden of paradise. Pedro de Alfonso’s account became much popular, and was treated, according to Islam and the West (Edinburgh, 1960, p. 148) by Norman Daniel, “the standard mediaeval version of the Quran’s promised paradise, that is, a garden of delights, the flowing waters, the mild air in which neither heat nor cold could afflict, the shady trees, the fruits, the many-coloured silken clothing and the palaces of precious stones and metals, the milk and wine served in gold and silver vessels by angels, saying, `eat and drink in joy’; and beautiful virgins, `untouched by men or demons’.” Norman Daniel also adds, “In spite of the enormous influence of the “Liber Scalae”, it must be said that the Quran itself was the chief source of the picture of the Islamic paradise familiar to so many mediaeval writers.” (Ibid.)

The most famous writers in Europe who produced a colourful tale of the Islamic garden of paradise were Pedro de Alfonso, San Pedro, Marino Sanudo, Varagine, Higden, Simon Simeon, Ricoldo da Monte Croce, William of Tripoli, John Mandeville, Jacques de Vitry, Alan of Lille, Sigebert, Guido, etc. In time, the European conceptions of the Islamic paradise, based on the Koranic description in a literal sense, were incorporated into the alleged paradise of Alamut, culminating in Marco Polo’s detailed account to this effect. Norman Daniel further writes, “It must be said that it was usual for Christians to allow themselves a rather purple rendering of the gardens and precious metals of paradise, though usually not of the virgins so beloved of later romanticism.” (Ibid.)

Thus, Marco Polo enhanced a further lease of life to the anti-Ismaili propaganda in Europe. Later on, the account of Friar Odoric of Pordenous (d. 731/1331), who visited China during 1323-27, is perhaps the earliest occidental account of the Ismailis, based entirely on Marco Polo, on his homeland journey to Italy in 1328. Odoric passed through the Caspian coast land in northern Iran, and heard there about the Ismailis, but his description almost resembles the account of Marco Polo. Charles E. Nowell writes in The Old Man of the Mountain (cf. Speculum, Mass., October, 1947, 12:517-8) that, “It is easy to understand how some parts of the Marco-Odoric legend were started. Various eastern historians say that the original Old Man, Hasan Sabbah, for purely economic and strategic reasons, had conduits built and encouraged planting around Alamut. This gave rise to the stories of the garden and the fountains of wine, milk and honey.”

Mirza Muhammad Saeed Dehlvi writes in Mazhab aur Batini Talim (Lahore, 1935, pp.296-7) that, “Whenever, the villagers looked the view of the beautiful gardens, green fields and heaths from the surrounding walls of Alamut, they thought it a model of a paradise of the Nizari Ismailis on the ranges of mountain. It is possible that the legend of paradise must have been originated by the illiterate and narrow-minded villagers from whom Marco Polo had heard and recorded it during his journey.”

It is also a striking feature that not a single Muslim source, notably Ata Malik Juvaini had ever mentioned about the legend of paradise, who was very aggressive in his narratives and was in search of such stories against the Ismailis. Marshall Hodgson writes in The Order of the Assassins (Netherland, 1955, p.135) that, “Juvaini, when investigating the history of Alamut on the spot after its fall did not look for such a garden as Polo heard tell of.”

The modern scholars express great doubts as to the historicity of the stories of paradise narrated by Marco Polo. Carl Brockelmann writes in History of the Islamic Peoples (London, 1959, p. 179) that, “What the Venetian world traveller Marco Polo reported, who some two hundred years later (1271 or 1272) passed through the territory of Alamut, may be mere a legend.” Dr. Abbas Hamadani writes in The Fatimids (Karachi 1962, pp. 50-51) that, “A myth was circulated in much later times to the effect that Hasan used to give hashish, an intoxicating drug, to his followers, and in their state of unconsciousness they were transferred to a false paradise. The legend of paradise was circulated by the European traveller Marco Polo, and it is obviously false.” Athar Abbas Rizvi writes in Iran – Royalty, Religion and Revolution (Canberra, 1980, p. 72) that, “The romantic stories of the order of assassins and of the Old Man of the Mountain are familiar to Western readers through the pages of Marco Polo, but the legends surrounding events in Alamut, although fascinating, are far from truth.” According to The Arabs (by the editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica, New York, 1978, p. 94) that, “Stories of the terrorists’ use of hashish before setting out to commit murder and face martyrdom are doubtful, and there is no Ismaili source to confirm tales of an artificial paradise into which drugged members were taken as a foretaste of eternal bliss.” Duncan Forbes also writes in The Heart of Iran (London, 1963, p. 29) that, “It is difficult to believe that the Alamut valley, austere and rocky as it is today, ever contained the delicate gardens described in the Middle Ages.” Lastly, in falsifying the tale of paradise, William Marsdon writes in The Travels of Marco Polo (London, 1818, p. 117) that, “We may affect to smile at his (Macro Polo’s) credulity.”

It must be borne in mind that a less informed Ismaili historian, called Dehkhoda Abdul Malik bin Ali, who was appointed the commander of the fortress, later on became known as the Maimundiz in Rabi I, 520/April, 1126; gives few important details under the year 536/1142, as cited by Rashiduddin’s Jamiut Tawarikh (Tehran, 1959, pp. 149-163), and Abul Kassim Kashani’s Zubdat al-Tawarikh (1964, pp. 171-4) that the Khurramiya, a sect of the Kaysania, had greatly borrowed the teachings of the Mazdakites and Zoroastrians. To sum up, by Khurramiya means the whole wide movement which operated through out Iran, with a possible focus in Azerbaijan and Tabaristan. The very meaning of Khurramiya appears uncertain to the authors dealing with it. It is usually related to the meaning of the Iranian term khurram (joyful, delightful or pleasing), so as to stigmatize the movement as “licentious” and justify its dependence on Mazdakism, which was considered as too tolerant from the point of view of ethics. This dependence, however, was occasionally related to Mazdak’s wife, Khurrama, held to have given her name to Mazdak’s followers after his death. There is also a geographical explanation of the name from a village, called khurram, which is the least likely interpretation.

It appears that most of the followers of Khurramiya espoused Ismailism in Jabal al-Badain at Azerbaijan, and asserted that: “this is the true faith, we accept it.” Hasan bin Sabbah deputed Dehkhoda Kaykhosrow, who had formerly belonged to them; to teach them the true Ismaili doctrines. When the latter died in Muharram, 513/May, 1119, his sons Abul Ala and Yousuf took his place as their da’is. Both were greedy of wealth and power, and in pursuit, they neglected their newly faith of Ismailism. Hasan bin Sabbah exhorted and warned them, but to no avail. After Hasan bin Sabbah’s death in 518/1124, a weaver named Budayl arose among them, and renounced Ismaili faith. He taught his followers that: “The law of the Shariah is only for those adhering to the exterior of religion. There is no reality to what is declared lawful or forbidden in religion. Prayers and fasting must therefore be abandoned.” Curiously, Budayl also taught them that: “Women were the water of the house. Dowry and marriage contract had no meaning. Daughters were lawful for their fathers and brothers.” Hence, they thought all forbidden things licit, and believed that the paradise and hell were on earth and that every one who recognizes the divinity of Abul Ala and Yousuf would return to earth in human shape, while those failing to do so would return in the form of wild beasts. In sum, these were the people whose doctrines consisted in rolling up the carpet of obligations of the Shariah, so as to render men free to follow all their pleasures and passions in permitting freedom of sexual relations and declaring as permitted all sorts of things prohibited by the religious laws.

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Marriage Infidelity – the 911 Cheating Husbands Guide for Women!

Infidelity is one of the most disheartening things that can occur in a relationship, and breaks the bond of trust and love that had existed between two partners. However, it can be overcome if you begin to understand why your partner felt the need to stray from the relationship, and you are willing to forgive. First, let me say that I do not condone such behavior, and I believe it to be an act of immorality, although recovering from infidelity has nothing to do with whether I or anyone else feels that the act was morally right or wrong! There are some professionals out there that will denounce a relationship that has suffered from infidelity as irreparable, and one that requires divorce or ending it as the solution.

Granted, there are relationships that should end since the risk of saving them can be far too costly to the partner on the receiving side. Relationships that contain sexual or physical abuse fall into this category! When these elements are present in a relationship, and your partner is exhibiting this behavior, you must understand that there are other underlying issues that are causing the abuse. In fact, it really has nothing to do with what you have or have not done in the failing relationship. Therefore, I would not recommend staying in such a relationship, or attempting to repair it! On the other hand, most relationships that have suffered from infidelity and do not contain abusive behavior can be saved. However, to save the relationship the following criteria must first be present;

1. You are willing to understand why he has strayed, and are willing to correct the problem.

2. You are willing to forgive him for his behavior.

The above criteria are based on the fact that you are the offended partner, if in fact you have strayed from the relationship then it would take your partners willingness to understand and forgive. However, it will also require your willingness to end the affair and cease your behavior.

Why did one of you stray?

In a successful relationship, two partners meet each other¡¦s emotional needs. But when these needs go unmet in the relationship, partners are tempted to go outside the relationship to satisfy them. A lack of understanding of what these emotional needs are often contributes to a couples failure to meet them. Men try to meet needs that they value, and women do the same. You see, often in a failing relationship both partners usually act from their male and female elements respectively, and end up trying to meet the wrong needs. A man does not want a partner that acts strictly from the female element, but rather from a balance of both elements. Sure, he wants a partner that is caring, compassionate, understanding, loving, affectionate, and romantic!

Sure, he wants a partner that he is physically and sexually attracted to, but more than anything else he wants a partner that makes him feel like a man! He wants a partner that walks through life with feminine grace. He wants a partner that is self confident and knows how to make her dreams come true, and knows how to articulate her needs. Someone that acts from both female and male elements!! Women want a man that is not only an achiever, strong, and self confident, but they want a man that is thoughtful, caring, understanding, passionate and romantic. They want a man that will just listen to them without trying to offer a solution or to achieve a specific outcome. They want a man that is thoughtful enough to understand how to fulfill their emotional needs, rather than his own.

However, quite frequently in a relationship crisis a women attempts to meet the needs of her partner by showering him with the needs that she values most, such as affection, caring, compassion, understanding and love. At this point in the crisis he has already begun to withdrawal, so taking this approach will only demonstrate that you can’t meet his needs, and will prove to be disastrous. Furthermore, the more you continue this approach the more you will drive your partner away, hence seeking fulfillment outside the relationship. Now, I know your probably thinking, but he’s the one that had the affair! He¡¦s wrong, not me! Well, there is no question that what he did was wrong, but if you want to continue to place the blame squarely on his shoulders then you may as well draw up the divorce settlement agreement, or pull the plug on the relationship right now!!!!

You see, until you are willing to look at what you did or didn’t do in the relationship to meet his needs, and how to fix it, he¡¦s not going to change and neither is your relationship!!!!!!!!!! What have you done in the relationship that caused his needs to go unmet? Sometimes it does involve a lack of sexual fulfillment and intimacy, although that is generally not the main reason!

If Your Partner was Unfaithful!

If your partner has been unfaithful, he has broken the bond of your relationship and has undermined your trust in him. Certainly, this has caused you to be pelted with a torrential barrage of emotions ranging from, feelings of hurt, betrayal, and anger. You may in fact even feel that he owes you some form of compensation for what he has done, and at times feel like you want to punish him for it! These are common reactions to infidelity by the offended partner, but you will need to move beyond these feeling if you wish to save your relationship. Try and understand that the past is the past, and there is not a darn thing you can do to change it, so holding on to it will only hurt you! Think about it, is the anger and resentment you are feeling inside right now hurting him? No, of course not! It’s hurting you! Yes, he was the one that had the affair! Is he wrong for doing so? Yes! But you have got to pull yourself up by the boot straps, come to the realization that he strayed from the marriage for a reason, and understand that until you’re willing to fix the problem nothing in your life or relationship is going to change!

You must ascertain which emotional needs went unmet and ultimately caused him to stray from the marriage. You can do this by reviewing what patterns of self limiting beliefs have sabotaged your relationship, and which forms of family dysfunctions they have originated from. Once you have definitively uncovered the self limiting beliefs, it is then time to uncover how they have prevented you from fulfilling your partners needs. Have they prevented you from being fully intimate, or have your fears and insecurities caused you to be jealous, suspicious, or controlling? I am sure you can read between the lines, and if you do a bit of reflection you will see that your partner has complained to you about what has gone unmet.

What if you have allowed the affair to continue?

Have you elected to stay in your relationship and permit an affair to continue for your childrens sake, or because your scared and afraid? Well, you are not alone because many people often do, in an act of desperation to save their relationship. However, what you don’t realize is that your lack of self esteem and self confidence is part of the underlying reason why your partner strayed from the relationship in the first place! Therefore, in essence, you are only confirming to your partner that they were justified for being unfaithful because you have proven to him that you can’t meet his needs. Furthermore, by staying in such a relationship under those circumstances you have given him a license to keep you on an emotional roller coaster for years to come. Why should he choose chocolate or vanilla when he can have them both!!!!!!! You see, some of his needs are being met by his paramour, and some of his other needs are being met by you. Therefore, it¡¦s no big surprise that he wants to have both!!!

Now, I am not at all suggesting that you give him an ultimatum at this point since that would be like pouring salt in his open wound! However, what I am saying is that after you present your statement of agreement you will need to begin to send him subtle messages that will state that you don’t condone his behavior and that you are’nt going to continue to tolerate it. As you manage the dynamics of the relationship, and time goes on, you will need to make the message progressively stronger. You want to arrive at a particular juncture of the choice between chocolate and vanilla, although the way to get him to choose that is by attraction, rather than force. In addition to sending him subtle messages of intolerance, you must also avoid becoming part of his behavior or enabling his affair. The following statements provide a few examples of how to deliver the message of intolerance;

1. If your partner makes an attempt to be intimate or affectionate towards you. Simply state that you do not feel comfortable with that, and you are not going to participate while he is involved in a relationship with another partner!

2. If your partner attempts to introduce your children to his paramour. State that doing so is not in the children¡¦s best interest, and you are not going to permit them to be subjected to such behavior!

3. If you partner attempts to discuss his paramour with you. Explain that you do not feel comfortable holding a discussion with him about the person that he is continuing to have an affair with, and remove yourself from the room!

Your compensation!

Is not at all uncommon for the offended spouse to want some form of compensation for the infidelity their partner has committed, although to often this leads to a mindset of seeking punishment or revenge! You must be willing to let go of the resentment you are holding onto, and be willing to forgive your partner, or you will destroy any chance you have of saving the relationship. Your prize or compensation will be attracting your partner back on your terms, and having the relationship that you’ve always dreamed of!!!

If you Have Been Unfaithful!

If you have been unfaithful to your partner, and have broken the bond and trust of the relationship, you will need to regain their trust and their forgiveness. Unfortunately, this is not an easy undertaking, but can be achieved when approached in the correct way. Obviously, you strayed from the relationship because some of your needs were unmet, but for the moment I would like you to put that aside! You see, when your partner first learns of your infidelity they will be experiencing a plethora of emotions, which includes the emotions of anger and resentment. They will feel that you’ve betrayed them, and in many cases will want to punish you, and will even expect to be compensated for your actions. Therefore, now would not be a good time to express your unhappiness in the relationship, and your needs being unmet as the direct cause of your infidelity! To do this would be the equivalent of pouring salt in their open wound. Therefore, you should do exactly the opposite, agree with them! You should draft a statement of agreement, which demonstrates your awareness of the fact that you strayed from the marriage, and it should include anything else that your partner blames you for in the relationship.

For more information on drafting a statement of agreement subscribe to my Free E-Guide “The Secret Principles to Saving a Relationship.”

This will defuse much of the anger and hostility they feel towards you, although they will continue to express their desire to punish you, or to be compensated for your actions for some time. The absolute worst thing that you can do is to feed into their power play! Do not attempt to over row the relationship boat by jumping to their beckon call, as this will only prolong their efforts to punish you and will worsen the relationship crisis. After you present your statement of agreement to your partner, you should stick to happy talk, or short, pleasant, conversations that don’t involve any serious talk about the relationship or the infidelity. If your partner attempts to punish you in someway, you should avoid commenting about it, and remove yourself from the situation by stepping back.

You must subtly send them a message that you are not going to allow them to punish you, and nor will you let their actions affect you. This should not be accomplished by arguing with them, or by finding fault with their actions. When your partner begins to realize that their attempts at punishing you have proven to be fruitless, in all likelihood they will cease their behavior. Once your partner has put down their guns, and has ceased the incessant behavior then and only then will you be able to move forward with saving the relationship. Continue to be pleasant and seize every opportunity to engage in short, happy conversation. However, do not make any advances at this point toward romantic endeavors. Be content to take it slowly and let your partner come to you! When he does, show some understanding and compassion for what he is feeling.

Do not defend yourself, or attempt to justify what you have done! Tell him that you agree and understand how he feels, and that you are sorry for the pain you have caused him. However, you must remain confident. Do not plead or beg for forgiveness! Remember, desperation is not attractive to anyone.

Ok, you’ve got him gravitating back to you, so now what? Well, if you’re looking for you partner to come to you and ask how he could fulfill your needs, it is unlikely that will happen! Let me say that this is going to take some patience on your part, and for now you should be content with allowing your partner to dictate the speed at which the relationship progresses. Be patient, and just be your happy, confident self!

In the mean time, let’s get started on the real work that is going to transform the relationship! The end goal is to get your partner to change so that he can meet your needs, right! But that it’s probably not going to happen by you telling him to! Yes, he has contributed to your failing relationship and your infidelity, but the bigger question is how have you contributed to it? What have you done that caused him to withdrawal and not meet your emotional needs? You see, the way to get him to change is by changing your side of the equation. As a matter of fact it’s the only way!

For more details on drafting a statement of agreement or how to save a relationship subscribe to my Free E-Guide “The Secret Principles to Saving a Relationship!”

Save a Relationship

Best wishes,

David Roppo

 

How to Save a Relationship

 

 

 

 

 

Мэган Фокс отъедает фигуру

Как оказалось, Майкл Бэй (Michael Bay) не любит слишком худых женщин, считая их непривлекательными.

Ввиду этого, режиссер второй части «Трансформеров» («Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen») поставил актрисе Мэган Фокс (Megan Fox) настоящий ультиматум: либо девушка набирает, по меньшей мере, пять килограмм веса, либо звезду оригинального фильма во второй картине заменят.

Несмотря на то, что 22-летняя Фокс недавно была названа самой красивой знаменитостью по версии «FHM», теперь актрисе приходится «отъедаться», чтобы не потерять роль в фильме, съемки которого начнутся уже меньше, чем через месяц.

 

Humor: Raising boys

According to the nursery rhyme, little boys are made from ‘Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails’. Well, what an apt description for their adorable, devious and ill-tempered male disposition, which only a mother could love. And I’m telling you now, ladies, it is our sacred duty, much to the dismay of many a young first-time Mom, to love and nurture these nasty little scoundrels and turn them into God-fearing, decent and honorable human beings. Not all of us may succeed, but the fruits of our labor will one day transform into grandchildren and it will all have been worth it. Because then, if all goes well, we will have our revenge!

But seriously, being a Mom of two gorgeous little boys, who are the absolute centre of my universe, I know that I couldn’t live a day without them. Despite the fact that I can no longer leave my make-up out on the dressing table, nor is there a wall in the house that doesn’t bear the mark of my Picassos. There isn’t a kitchen cabinet high enough to stow anything away, or any lock strong enough to hold anything in, and recently, the electric drill had to be given away after the older one tried to pierce the younger one’s ear with it. The little darlings! This was exactly one year after my eldest had to have a piece of plastic train track surgically removed from his nose. They know me by name down at the Accident and Emergency Centre.

I think I really could write a whole book about the turmoils and near-death experiences in our household, and believe me when I say that not one of those incidents occurred through any lack of vigilance on my part. But they’re just too smart and demonically devious for the likes of us. God must have added a special sneaky gene to the boy chromosome, and sent them here to torment us. And some of them don’t outgrow it, do they? Has anyone noticed that they even kick you harder in the womb than their fragile little female counterparts? I know!

But just look at them, fast asleep in their cute little Bart Simpson pyjamas, with their untamed hair and their marshmallow cheeks, nothing could be more angelic. Until the next day, and your police job begins all over again. When will you no longer have to scoop poop from behind the sofa or wash macaroni and cheese out of your own hair? When will a birthday gift of paints and crayons not send you spiraling into a panic attack? When, oh when, will they both leave for college?

You find yourself reminiscing about your days in school, when boys were the only thing on your mind. How come they’re so intriguing at that age? Still mostly disgusting, but intriguing. You wonder which poor unsuspecting lassies will fall prey to the undeniable charms of your two angels. But for now, you have to pull one of them out of the washing machine and trace the pee puddles on the kitchen floor back to their origin. Ah, what bliss to be the mother of boys.

 

Best hip

B. Nice: Do the Nice Thing

What do you get when you cross the old school stealthy tight flows of A Tribe Called Quest and the teacher mentality of KRS-One with the effortless freestyles of Eminem and a Master’s Degree in Multi-cultural Humanistic Education? Answer: Long Island born non-novelty Caucasian emcee and hip hop humanitarian, Brian “B. Nice” Birkeland and his new indie disc Do the Nice Thing. This musical equivalent of education on wax touches the brain on all points.

From the motivational speech of “Full Time” where Mr. Nice bluntly spits over confident horns and an easy-bumpin,’ mid-tempo kick drum… “Too much to accomplish/What the Hell would I chill for?/Level-headed Imma get it instead/ I’ll work hard now and rest when I’m dead!” to the life lessons of “Life Learner” and “Do 4 U” where he imparts, “It don’t matter if you can’t read or write as long as you are literate to the hatred and greed in life.” The education continues on the schoolhouse friendly “Cryin’” in which the “emceeducator” tells tales of his parents’ broken marriage, his teenage love, and the loss of his friends to the ills of the world with such transparency that you may actually find yourself reliving ten years of your life all over again in three and a half minutes. Nice truly is the “optimal optimist always seein’ positive [transforming] ahead of [his] prime just like Optimus.”

Producer Peter Perfect tags along on the tracks of Nice’s train of rhymes as the graffiti artist of old school breaks that Kanye hasn’t used yet. What Perfect lacks in resources he makes up for in diversity. On “Lovely Day” he creates a radio-friendly summertime joint to roll to without allowing his wingman to lose a step. Perfect summons the funk of Kool Keith on “Bionic Man” without making it sound like Kool Keith, and “Block Boys” thumps just enough not to overpower Nice’s lashing wordplay.

Overall, this is an excellent album. The only con I can find is that somehow Do the Nice Thing sounds like it could be even more. Is the “distinguished gentlemen with a bounce like gelatin” holding out on us? Of course he is! Rating 4/5

Album available at myspace.com/bniceakaniceb

 

Barbie in the feministic discussion – Talk about unrealistic expectations!

Ever since Barbie was first produced, she has raised eyebrows with her looks and her attitude. To put it shortly, she is way too skinny, too long legged, too big breasted and utterly too happy. Her being blonde and blue eyed hasn’t been a very popular thing either. (Although the first Barbie was produced as a blonde and brunette with almost black eyes, is not common knowledge.) Her being heterosexual has raised questions lately, not to mention her swapping boyfriends after braking up with Ken.

Instead of repeating every accusation made against Barbie, I would like to point out a few things that are generally over-looked when criticising her.

Barbie’s figure

There is a very practical reason for Barbie’s world famous figure. By definition, Barbie is a fashion doll, created for little girls who were immensely interested in their mother’s wardrobe and messing with it day in and day out trying on outfits that wouldn’t suit them. Barbie’s creator Ruth Handler watched her little girl playing with paper dolls, swapping fashions on them, and thought about a three dimensional doll for the game. This was where Barbie came in. She is a 3D paper doll!

There are some issues with making clothes on a doll of 12 inches however. First of all, the fabrics are mostly a lot thicker than what they feel like on the human – after all, the fabrics are mostly the same as ours! Therefore Barbie had to be moulded to adapt to the thickness of the fabrics, not to mention the seams bulking up especially on the waist. When you look at a clothed Barbie doll, she doesn’t seem that disproportional, does she? She looks feminine; like a model, yes, there’s no question about that. However, after only a couple of layers of clothing, she starts looking a bit to the chubby side. Let’s be brutally honest though, would you buy a fat doll? I sure wouldn’t. Why would I even, Barbie is a play thing, an object of dreams, she’s not supposed to be realistic picture of the world, but something that can make the dreams come true – even if only in the play world.

On contrary to the common belief though, Barbie does come in various shapes and sizes. There’s a version that is even skinnier than the normal Barbie, but isn’t as busty or wide hipped. Barbie’s best friend Midge has also appeared in quite a large body, as she just had a baby.

Why is Mattel required to produce dolls nobody wants?

I must wonder what logic requires a company to produce an item that will stay standing on the store shelves waiting for buyers who will never arrive while being praised by moralists. To my honest opinion, Mattel has made the mistake of listening to the moralists too much for their own good. Of course you have to please the parents somewhat, but let me ask this: Is a parent who is disgusted enough to require Barbie’s mouth to be closed because she sees that being pervert likely to buy Barbie after she smiles sophisticatedly? My guess would be no. A parent like that will take that as a victory and move on to the next subject: Her eyes are too big, her hair is too thick, she’s too blonde or she’s too shallow.

Now imagine the moralists dream Barbie doll. She’s only 10 inches tall while Barbie usually stands 12 inches. Her waist would be equal to the measurement of her breasts and hips, but it would be softer so you could create a waistline by squeezing the belt a bit tighter on her. She would have a very expressive face, a genuinely happy smile with sparkling eyes. She would have a mixed colour hair, that hasn’t been cut to any shape. Okay, now maybe you would buy the doll. Possibly I would too (it would make a great addition to the collection of mine) but would your 8-year old want it? If I remember anything from my attitudes as a child, I wouldn’t look at that one twice. I only get one Barbie a year, and I WILL NOT waste that one change on a doll that looks like my mom!

But I can’t measure up to her!

Did your brother get an identity crisis because he couldn’t perform in the same manner as his Action Man or his Transformer? That he never got the amount of cars as his Matchbox car collection? He never even got one BMW, and now drives a stupid Honda Civic. Now does your brother blame it on his toys if he fails to be what he pretended to be when he was playing with his fire truck? I would guess not. He says he doesn’t exercise enough to be as fit as his firemen were and he doesn’t work enough to get a BMW. And for crying out loud, Transformers were toys! Who ever in his right mind would compare oneself to a toy anyway?

Now here’s a question for you. At which point did women mistake Barbie for being a real woman competing over the same men? I remember from my childhood wanting to be like Barbie. To me “like Barbie” meant the following: I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to be attractive – I didn’t want as big boobs or wide hips, as I compared her to the real adults in my world, and they didn’t look exactly like Barbie, and if they did, they’d be freaks. I didn’t want to grow up as a freak, just an attractive adult female. I also wished Barbie was brown haired, but I never thought Mattel didn’t like brunettes, Barbie just happened to be blonde, that’s all! (Around those times dying your hair wasn’t all that common, and being a brunette Scandinavian, everyone around me was blonde anyway, so I didn’t think much of it.) Nowadays Barbie comes in so many colours and variations, that finding a really blonde Barbie is actually quite difficult.

Barbie today

She’s criticized for braking up with Ken. The divorce rate in around the Barbie buying countries is around 50%. Now if Barbie and Ken would stay together forever, doesn’t it make mom and dad seem BAD because they broke up? In my honest opinion, kids don’t give a damn. Barbie, Ken, Barbie, Blaine, what ever. Does your kid really even care what the name on the box is, Theresa is as much a Barbie as Kayla is, and even Christie, the African American friend of Barbie is in kids mind still a Barbie. My Barbie was called Paula, and the Ken was called Nick, I didn’t give rat’s ass what was printed on the box. In my opinion both of the names were bad, but I loved the dolls. The name was easy to change!

Also today Barbie’s figure is changed dramatically compared to the 80’s figure us adults seem to connect with “Barbie body image”. Anyone criticising her based on the memories should go to the Barbie aisle and take a good look. Her waist is completely proportioned to her breasts, her nose is no longer bent to the form that makes it impossible to breath, and the hair is no longer blonde on all the dolls. (You don’t want blondes to disappear all together, do you? What message would that send to the naturally blond girls?) The biggest issue today on Barbie is her unrealistic head size, and the company to blame for that little issue is elsewhere. The Bratz dolls took the doll market by surprise creating dolls that give a new meaning to the word “disproportional”.

Does your kid really need Mattel to write a script for her plays?

Barbie is often regarded as being shallow and stupid. I wonder what people expect. How deep thoughts do you think a vinyl head with nothing but a bit of hair stuck inside of it can produce? When kids play games, do they really follow the narrations the toy company laid out? Seriously, if they do, there’s something wrong with them, and it’s not the company. It’s not Barbie’s (or Mattel’s) duty to come up with deep thoughts; it’s the player’s responsibility to create personality for the doll. This is where imagination comes in. If you didn’t have it

 

Remembering the 80s cartoons – Part 2

Remembering the 80’s Cartoon.

Remember when on Saturday morning how you would plop down in front of the tube for the cartoons. As a boy, G.I Joe’s or The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I would carry Donatello’s sword while watching the show and Imitate his every move. I remember my favorite show, the transformers, coming on at 8am. Transformers was better then any soap opera. Every week was something different. Sometimes the good guy one while sometimes the bad guy one. You basic action show in the 80’s featured the classic battle between good and evil. You could learn your child hood morals from Sergeant Slaughter during the commercial break of G.I. Joe. Optimus Prime preached about living the American way of life. All of the shows had the same basic themes. Honor, loyalty and love. No wonder the 80’s generation is the last great generation. Kids today are learning nothing from what they watch today. The games they play today or full of grotesque violence. I know in the 80’s we did have Atari and Nintendo. However, even in the War games of Nintendo there were no arms being hacked off or brains being blown out. It seems with the advancement of technology came the lack of morals taught on the tube. I guess the government didn’t want to step in. I understand you have to let the free market flow and grow at will. However, the violence has gotten out of control. Even worse, the influence of this violence in games has already made an impact on children in today’s society. Even worse, the cartoons children are accustomed to watch today have no moral teachings. At most you might learn the alphabet from sesame street. Not to say that this is bad, but kids don’t just pay attention to arithmetic on T.V. Cartoons for young teens are almost unheard of anymore. You might find a rebirth of shows like the turtles and transformers but nothing like what my generation is accustomed to.

With all of the trash that hit’s the airwaves these days, I yearn for an old cartoon. On the radio you have oldies 98, why not the 80’s cartoon channel. If it were a premium I would take it over any other. Somebody get Ted Turner on the line and remind him that preaching the American dream in cartoons should not be just another marketing scheme but a standard sub plot of any story. I guess I should just stop preaching to the choir. Thank you Optimus, Leonardo, Egon and Ray. Thank you Lionel, Splinter and even the evil shredder. Thank you for all of the great childhood memories. Thank you Howie Mandell for Bobby’s World. Thank You Snoopy and Charlie Brown for making me laugh after a rough day at school. Thank you to all the creators of the 80’s cartoons. You made my childhood much easier to deal with.

 

Must

A play room can be as simple or elaborate as a budget and space allow, but there are some basics that can help transform even the smallest room into a great play room.

The following basics include a mix of activities, depending on the child’s age, for children of preschool-age, through the primary school years:

SPACE – SIT-DOWN SPACE AND MOVE-AROUND SPACE

Two very important things every play room needs are as much floor space as possible, along with a table and chairs suited to the child’s age. A sturdy rug on the floor makes a cozy room, but toy trucks and small riding toys don’t move well along most carpet. Another disadvantage to carpet is that paint, clay, PlayDoh, and paper glue don’t go well with carpeting.

STORAGE FOR TOYS

Bins make putting toys away easier. Colored laundry bags can be used for toy storage as well. Closets (which can have locked doors if necessary) can house shelves or stackable storage units).

A PLACE FOR “QUIET PLAY”

Some simple, low, shelves for books; or a few rectangular bins in a corner, offer a place for storing books. Puzzles, coloring books, crayons, activity books, paper make this “quiet corner” complete. Paint with water books, watercolor paints, brushes, and a container for water are good to have on hand. (Tip: Before giving children boxed puzzles reinforce the corners of the boxes with strong tape. Puzzles pieces are more likely to be returned to unbroken boxes.) Plastic containers from a dollar store are an inexpensive and stackable way to store small items, like crayons and paint brushes.

BUILDING BLOCKS ARE A MUST

A good set of wood blocks and an age-appropriate set of Duplo or Lego blocks are great for keeping children busy.

OTHER THINGS FOR PLAY

Young children enjoy having a play kitchen with dishes and play food. Dolls and a doll cradle are a must for girls. Barbie dolls, clothing, accessories, and a house are usually something older girls will play with for hours. Older boys, of course, like action figures and sets associated with them.

A doll house with people and furniture can be modified as a child grows. The same is true for train sets. Playing paper dolls is still a nice activity for girls. Sticker books are something kids usually like. Don’t forget some age-appropriate toy cars and trucks (Tonka makes chunky little trucks for younger children. HotWheels, of course, are great for bigger boys.)

Having some classic board or card games offers something

 

Entertaining Youngsters With Classic Toys-Play Doh

With video games dominating and transforming the landscape of our pre-teen children with a new virtual world for them to play in, it is refreshing to know that there are still classic toys available for our younger children to enjoy. Let’s look at one of these special toys:

There is a classic toy, invented by two brothers in 1955, that still captures the imaginations of our pre-school children and youngsters alike. That toy, or product is: Play Doh.

Originally a wallpaper cleaner invented by brothers Noah W. McVicker and Joseph S. McVicker, Play Doh was introduced to schools in the Cincinnati area in 1955 because McVicker’s sister-in-law asked if it was a safe alternative to modeling clay. Play Doh was an instant hit and soon the McVicker brothers formed Rainbow Crafts Company to produce and sell their product. Additionally, the brothers showcased their “modeling clay” at a National Education Convention and the word spread to the big department stores, Macy’s and Marshall Field’s. Soon after, Plah Doh was a national hit.

Advertising played a crucial role in the success of Play Doh. Captain Kangaroo, a very popular educator of young children at the time, endorsed Play Doh. So did Miss Frances from the Ding Dong School, another popular children’s television show. In 1960, a character named Play-Doh-Pete, a young boy with a beret was introduced to the advertising campaign. Additionally, the Fun Factory Accessory Playset was added to the product line, which allowed children to squeeze the material into interesting shapes and molds, furthering sales and development of the product.

In 1980 Play Doh expanded its palette to include eight colors, some that glowed in the dark and even some that were scented. It is estimated that more than two billion cans of Play Doh have been sold since 1956 and the total amount of Play Doh manufactured since then would weigh more than 700 million pounds.

The ingredients for Play Doh, to this day, remain a closely guarded secret. But it is primarily made up of a mixture of water, wheat flour, deodorized kerosene (or some other petroleum distillate-to provide the smooth texture), salt, a drying agent such as borax (which deters mold), an alum-based hardening agent, colorings and perfume.

Kids all over the world still enjoy Play Doh (it is sold in more than 6000 stores and over 75 countries worldwide) and children can even celebrate National Play Doh Day on September 18th. Some products never go out of style and Play Doh will always have young minds to enlighten and entertain.

 

Dealing with your childs obsession with movies, movie songs, and movie

From the vantage point of a mother of grown kids, I can tell you that kids’ obsessions with movie-based songs, videos, and toys pass as quickly as they set in. I can also tell you, however, that until the child reaches adolescence fading obsessions are usually replaced by new ones.

Whether movie- or television- based or just the latest children’s craze, children’s obsessions with the latest kid stuff can drive parents to the point of desperation, trying to find the often hard-to-find latest thing.

I’ve survived the Care Bears phase, the Spiderman phase, the Hulk phase, the Puffalumps phase, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles phase. Then there were Transformers, Star Wars (my son had a particularly impressive Millenium Falcon) and Fraggles. They weren’t movie-based, but rationed Cabbage Dolls fit into the crazy craze category. There has always been everything-Barbie, and Barbie is an example of a doll that was turned into a movie. There was a point when all three of my kids were at an age where all three wanted all three Simpsons children (Bart, Lisa, and Maggie). Let’s not forget The Little Mermaid, Ariel, Princess Jasmine, and Belle. (Who would have thought even Ghostbusters would have little dolls…).

We parents have seen how sometimes movies are inspired by toys, while other times toys are apparently the inevitable consequence of movies. Sometimes when a movie is old (like the animated Charlotte’s Web) they are re-made in a way that starts a whole craze that the older version never inspired.

My advice to parents in the throws of a child’s obsession with the latest movie (or television program or toy) is to try get the “important” items – the action figures or doll, a few accessories, a “big ticket” item like (forgive the archaic references) the Millenium Falcon or the pump-up Hulk who would bust out of his cage; and then some of the “supplemental” items like lunch-boxes, drinking cups, and/or whatever other here-today-gone-tomorrow junk that may be available. Videos for kids who will watch them again and again until they go around repeating all the lines incessantly aren’t expensive and make kids happy. Littler kids may benefit more from music. For birthdays and other special occasions there are always the much coveted movie-themed sleeping bags. The occasional fast-food kid’s meal with a movie-themed toy is another way to quench a child’s thirst for this stuff.

Inflatable, movie-themed, wading pools will usually not last

 

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