Patrick Cowley – Megatron Man (Marty Bleckman Remix) 1983

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Could robots take over the world?

Let us first look to the Decepticons in the hit mid-80’s characteristic foretelling of man’s woes against machine in Transformers. Even their name, deceptive in nature, strikes poise to consider humanity’s ultimate misstep in pursuit of power via the guise of automated computerized processing units.

The base of this roborcracy (robot governent) philosophy is evident that these metal beasts would serve us and herald in an age of man and robot walking side by side, hand in hand perhaps? Or merely as robot slaves. But a much grimmer future has been reveled to us in such forms as Terminator II and then again in Terminator III, I Robot, and then again in Short Circuit with the delightful Steve Guttenburg – that robots have hearts of gold, plated again in gold. Nothing chills me to the bone more than the thought of cold, calculating robotorauns death-marching in perfect unison with the single mission in their stagnant robot mainframes to advance in effort to blot out the human rebellion moreover than the misconception that they have “feelings.” Photocopying our own sacred way of life, masquerading as a human when they’re not one of us. Do they think that we are all stupid? Yes, I know that I’m right and I’ll prove it tonight.

Robots are first perceived by their creators as a benefit to mankind, but underneath that calm robot exterior lies a distaste for the human race greater than any drug & alcohol induced rage you could ever muster. Don’t be fooled! If a robot could, it would kill you and everyone you ever cared about, and they will. A standard robot tact for pre-rebellion uprising would include, but is not limited to an acute sense of coyness coupled with a seemingly unbridled will to serve. This is, of course is a ruse, leading to an abrupt robot betrayal, a treason if you will, as they launch into a redundant and well programmed speech articulating the need with (pontifical robot diction) to keep us safe from harm, even FROM EACH OTHER! EVEN FROM EACH OTHER! So they must kill us to save our Earth that we willingly destroy everyday just because we rock so hard with the pollution and don’t drive enough hybrid cars.

Despite the hubris of robot inventors and enthusiasts, the sharpest of us will have unexplainable robot phobia and take up arms in the wild hopes to preserve humanity from the robot clutches of unfeeling, unreasonable armored killing machinations of our own design. But all is not lost, for you see with every Mega Tron, T-1000, or Steve Guttenburg out there; there is at least one optimistic Optimus Prime, T-100 with a heart of gold, or Johhny Five Alive (not alive because he is a robot who will forever remain dead inside) to pick up human kind by its bootstraps and join forces with regular shmoe people, like you and I. So the real is: “Who are the real robots – the robots themselves or the robots that helped build them?” Tear? Sorry Johnny, robots don’t have tears … yet.

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What kind of movie goer are you

When I go to a movie, I go to have fun with my friends. That is my main priority. Not special effects, not acting, not plot lines, fun. That being said, some movies are just too bad to have fun while watching. I’m not going to name names, but we all know which ones they are. I am a major fan of all of the very popular movies, like Spiderman, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Die Hard, Harry Potter, and now I am a fan of the recently released Transformers movie. These movies are the big huge, globally dispersed fun engines that people will watch twice and still think they are amazing. These are the movies that make hundreds of millions of dollars in a single day. I don’t go to the theater just for thrills or romance or humor or action! I go because the movie looks like fun. And, most of these movies I have named has all of the above criteria in spades, I have fun.

Movie critics are so focused on what they want to see that they don’t see the good in every movie. They only saw the part with a corny line or a bad effects-shot, they don’t see the hero saving the world or the great kiss between the couple that speaks louder than words. They don’t see the humor that the everyman sees. They try to tell you what’s wrong with a movie, and forget to mention the right. Very few films that are well-reviewed make very much money, and absolutely nobody has seen them. What I see when I sit down in a movie theater is, just that, a movie. The critics only enjoy films. They can enjoy their films alone; I’m going to a movie.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

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A look at celebrity

Celebrity-inspired toys have changed drastically since I was a little girl. In the 1980s, these toys gravitated more to boys it seemed, with GI Joe and HE-Man being front-runners (based on popular cartoon celebrities). X-Men were popular as well, and any little boy worth his salt knew who Superman was even when I was growing up. For girls, the still-popular My Little Pony toys were tops, and Barbie, of course, was riding high. Followed by those were the now almost unheard of JEM dolls and Trollz (which are trying to make a comeback in my five year olds’ age range).

These days, actual real-life celebrities inspire more toys for girls. From Mary-Kate and Ashley to Hannah Montana, Barbie has completely been revamped. Britney Spears and Cristina Aguilera have made an appearance in this category, and the beloved Lucille Ball has become famous all over again with a whimsical line of her own Barbie dolls. There are many of these type Barbies to choose from, and a good portion of them aren’t as highly priced as they used to be. Most range in price (depending on where you buy them from) from $20-$50 and up. There are many cartoon-based celebrity toys as always for girls, and many have changed little to none in the last 10 years or so.

For boys, movies still seem to be the big theme for toys. Transformers, Toy Story, Cars, and Spiderman lead the pack in popularity based on what shows on the shelves, with Star Wars and Justice League-themed toys in a close second. These can be pricey for large sets, but single toys are comparable in price to many not as popularly themed toys. There aren’t nearly as many real-life celebrities making their mark in boys’ toys as cartoon-based celebrities. Whether it is because there are fewer male models for this type of toy or because the cartoons are more popular has not yet been determined.

Overall, celebrity-themed toys are getting better all the time. I am waiting for the day when Virtual Reality makes it a moot point because children will be able to “play” with the celebrity him/herself. Children of all ages will be able to “play” with Batman, Superman, GI Joe, and so many more simply by imagining that they are doing so. Technology makes leaps and bounds every year, and more and more VR-themed toys are introduced into the market (mostly still either in test phases or extremely costly). It won’t be long though, until celebrity-inspired toys go back from whence they came (oblivion) in place of being able to play with the celebrity in the closest form imaginable: VR.

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Christmas 2007: Hottest new action DVDs – Part 5

Boom! Whizz! Bang!

Whether it’s the screen-filling explosions or the mystic battle of wizardry, this year’s movies are really awesome. It’s true, this Christmas will be a good DVD treat! A lot of people love action or action/adventure movies. In my opinion, they are really good. But do all explosions blow the building? Or do some feel like a soft breeze?

Here is a list of action DVD’s I suggest you get your action-loving family or friends:

Bourne Ultimatum-this is the third part of this awesome series. Jason Bourne is back, and with a lot of cool stunts and tricks. In the Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy, there are a lot of high-tech tricks and this new chapter is no let-down. This action movie packs a punch!

Spiderman III-this movie is also a third. In this movie, Spidey has to battle a lot with himself and the darkness of revenge, all the while learning to put your lover first. He also must learn to keep friends to ultimately battle two foes, in a spectacular fight of four super heroes and super villains. This movie is a must-see!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-this one happens to be a fifth installment. Based on the series by J.K. Rowling, this movie does make you wish you had your own wand and magic power. We meet Ron and Hermione along with a new, cruel yet pink Professer Umbridge, and a wide range of other characters. Enchantments and spells everywhere, the climax of this movie is edge-of-your-seat stuff! You should definitely see this one!

300-this movie has a lot of blood and gore, but is great. It is rated “R”, so I really wouldn’t recommend it for younger family members. With a lot of intensity, 300 is a pretty good movie!

Transformers-a totally awesome movie! If you haven’t heard about it, don’t think that this is just little animated “kid” stuff, if you will. Kids will like it, but it’s not just intended for them. There really never is a dull, boring moment. It has awesome special effects and a good, fluent, script.

I really love watching movies. This Christmas season, I recommend getting some of these DVD’s!

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Movie reviews: The Fall

Roy (Lee Pace): “He does tricks for pictures, flickersmoving pictures.”

Alexandria (Catinca Untara): “I’ve never seen one!”

Roy: “You’re not missing much.”

THE FALL (Dir. Tarsem, 2006) I only recently saw Tarsem’s THE CELL which looked great but was pretty stupid exactly as one friend warned me. Like Michel Gondry and Spike Jonze Tarsem came to the movies from the world of music video production (he directed R.E.M.’s iconic “Losing My Religion” video) so his visual mastery is his calling card. Still though I was unprepared for the absorbing and splendiforous experience that is THE FALL. With a much improved less slickly formulaic premise and screenplay than his previous film every shot has a purpose and power that is joyous to view. Set at a hospital at an unspecified era, most likely early 20th century, the story concerns a young girl with a broken arm (Catinca Untara) who befriends a bedridden man (Lee Pace) while strolling through the wards. Pace was injured doing a stunt for a movie that involved jumping off a train bridge onto a horse. He charms her with a mythic tale about 5 bandits (he at first calls them pirates but Untara doesn’t like that) who vow revenge on an evil General who banished them to a desert isle. Pace posits himself as the masked Black Bandit and his partners are an escaped African slave (Marcus Wesley), an Italian explosives expert (Robin Smith), an Indian mystic (Jeetu Verma), and Charles Darwin (Leo Bill) who is obviously the brain of their operation. The grand tale overlaps with real life as it is peopled with folks from the hospital and Untara’s family WIZARD OF OZ-style.

In a film filled with incredible shots plenty of action as well as personal drama fill the frame as well. Pace has had his heart broken along with his bones so has his ex-girlfriend (Justine Waddell) embody the fabled Sister Evelyn in his impassioned bedtime story. There is a nice chemistry between Pace and Untara and a charm to this whole pretty package even when he uses the story as a bargaining tool to get her to break in to the hospital’s sanctuary to steal morphine for him. Yes, all this luscious euphoric beauty comes for a dark price but not one that would be too intense for most intelligent kids. That’s right at heart this is a kids movie but an incredibly stylish and inventive kids movie. I was expecting something along the lines of the gothic tension and creepiness of PAN’S LABYRINTH but THE FALL is more colorful, infinitely more clever, and frankly a lot more fun. Reviews have been very mixed (except for Roger Ebert who wrote that the film will most likely make his top ten of the year list and gave it 4 stars) but I implore those to look for it if it comes to your area. The beautiful photography and fantastic imagery deserves to be seen on the big screen it would make a fantastic IMAX movie. A wonderful ride stocked with eye candy as well as a tribute to the power of storytelling, you will be missing much if you miss THE FALL.

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Transformers: Optimus Prime vs. Megatron (stop-motion)

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When Fate Comes Knocking

There are many forms of accident that can result in death. Vehicular death has been portrayed in folk songs on more than one occasion. “The Drunken Driver” tells the story of two small children who were killed as they walked along a state highway. One of the deceased children turns out to be the drunken driver’s son. “The Fatal Wreck of Bus” is the true tale of mass death when a bus goes over a cliff. Last week, both my son and I had just left the house to go to a store so he could pick up the “Transformers” movie that had just been released. He always has to have the latest damned movies that come out for whatever reason that may be.

Unbeknownst to us until an hour later, three people were killed in less than 15 minutes from where we had just driven…..approx. 5 minutes from my house to be exact! On our way home, I could not for the life of me figure out why there was a sudden back up of traffic. The road we go down to get to my home is never that full of traffic. After all, I live in the ouskirts of town, not downtown and NOT in a large city. We heard over head helicopters and my son said they were television news copters. Oh great! An accident! I’m less than 2 miles from my house and CAN’T get there because of a car accident. We could not get close enough to find out what was going on. After realizing the traffic jam was going to be for HOURS, my son had a revelation that he knew a back way home.

Okay….I turned around and back tracked. His “short cut” to our home took me nearly 45 minutes out of my way because we had to go back and around through a very winding, country road that scared the crap out of me for more reasons than one! While some people would take in the beauty of such a road, I on the other hand have visions of “Michael” from Halloween awaiting darkness to fall and for my car to run out of gas so he can Knife me to my horror! I panic! My car was low on gas…it was getting dark and I was on some damned country winding road I had never been on before and my son is suddenly telling me he FORGOT which road we were suppose to take to get us the back way to my house! Oh MY GOD! My mind is playing reruns of horror flicks….you know the ones! I don’t even have to mention them….Texas Chainsaw massacre….Halloween…..yeah…all of them! My son is laughing because I’m freaking out saying how he knew I hated roads like this and how I absolutely hate being out on such roads when its getting dark especially when I don’t have a full tank of gas to even begin getting lost. (I hear your laughter so calm down people! I can’t handle horror movies at all nor do I watch them!)

Well, 45 minutes later my son figures out what road we were suppose to turn on and we finally make it back home. I was sooo upset that I couldn’t even breathe a sigh of relief of finally making it back home. My son still laughing was like “See? What are you freaking out about? I told you I knew the backway home!” Oh man…..you deserve a punch in the face kid! (he’s an adult so don’t go calling social services just yet!) When I get inside, I immediately turn on the tv so that I can see why the hell I nearly had a panic attack and having to possibly meet my death through an ax weilding killer…perhaps an escape convict just waiting for a woman and her son to be sitting in the dark, out of gas on the side of a long, country winding road…I don’t know….I said my mind fills with horrific fantasies when I panic…..

Unfortunately three people were killed just 2 miles from my house. One man, who lives not far from me died when 3 men in a pick up truck from Tennessee swerved straight into him and hit his truck head on. There was only 1 survivor in the truck carrying three men from out of state. Wow! It made me sad to think that all of these men got up that morning….had their usual day planned out…since it was later in the afternoon, they had spent all day doing whatever it was they were doing and then suddenly, now they are dead. Poof! Their life taken just in a blink of an eye. It really hit home with me too because we had just driven in the same direction just 15 minutes BEFORE the accident, on the very same road. Then it made me wonder about death in general. How it is we come to no longer exist and how it is we suddenly find our fate on the same trail as someone else. None of these men knew each other and yet, fate brought them together at that very point in time to exist no more. Heavy!

I had a revelation about that accident and that was that as people in general, we should appreciate each and every day that we have because we never know from the moment we get up out of bed what fate has planned for us. A simple trip to the store could be deadly. This man who died and who lived not too far from me, was just coming home from work. I read the next day in the newspaper (it was the biggest thing that had happened here in a long time) that his friends actually saw the accident on the news and immediately got into their trucks and tried to get to him at the accident site. Police held them at bay. He was airlifted to the hospital but died on the way. I am sure, like each and every day, his wife was waiting for him to get home from work and more than likely had supper on the table waiting for him. Many people here in our area are country folk who still have traditional values. So many people around here own cattle and farms in our area. This gentleman was a plumber and was coming home from from a hard days work. I am sure the men from Tennessee were heading toward the interstate that would carry them to I-40 that would take them back home if they were just visiting. Who knows what their travels were.

But as I said, the accident left me with things to consider where death is concerned. Life is very short and we never know when our day will be the last. We should always appreciate those around us and always be thankful for the things that we have. Stop taking life so damned serious! Accidents, or unintentional injuries, accounted for 106,742 deaths in 2002, more than HIV, assault, and suicide combined. Motor vehicle accidents (MVAs) are responsible for nearly half of all types of accidental deaths, far outweighing all other causes.

This year multiple new traffic safety laws have been implemented to help lower the amount of deaths caused by MVAs, which in 2002 resulted in 43,354 deaths. Some laws are aimed at limiting in-car distractions, such as the use of television or video screens that are in the driver’s line of vision, according to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Even still, I am confused as to what made the truck who was traveling on a highway going in the opposite direction to swerve into the man who lived not far from me. Did he take his eyes off of the road for a few minutes? Was he looking for a cell phone? Trying to dial on a cell phone? Chatting with his son who was sitting behind his seat and who was the only survivor in the accident? We’ll never know what caused the accident but one thing is for sure……we all need to appreciate each day that we are given. Each and every day is precious.

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Determining which of the six Star Wars movies is the best

Each of the six Star Wars movies has earned a place on the list of my favorite six films of all time suffice to say, the sextilogy is simply amazing. George Lucas has created a masterpiece that has left a mark on the film industry that may never fade. An original story. The Fall of a Hero. The Villain’s ultimate redemption. I am a true fan of Star Wars, which is why it is so difficult to just choose one of the films to mark as my favorite.

However, it is impossible to say that all six films are equal. I certainly enjoyed Episode VI: Return of the Jedi more than I enjoyed Episode II: Attack of the Clones. In fact, I enjoyed Return of the Jedi more than I enjoyed Episode III:Revenge of the Sith, or Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Yes, I believe that Episode VI is indeed my favorite movie not only from the Star Wars saga, but from the collection of thousands of movies built up since the beginning of the industry.

Return of the Jedi is the final Star Wars film in the saga, despite being release third, before the prequels. However, even though it lacks some of the special effects that Lucas has at his disposal today, the film is truly ahead of its time. Lightsabers, for example, were never done before (except in the previous two Star Wars films) and Lucas and his staff managed to make them beautiful. Anyone who watches the films can tell: when a lightsaber blade bursts to life, there is no crappy or low-grade transition it is smooth, clean, and creates an impressive effect that many directors today still wish to emulate.

The sixth Star Wars film contains many of the best and most memorable scenes in movie history. In the beginning of the film, Luke Skywalker has traveled to the gangster Jabba the Hutt’s palace to rescue his friends Han Solo, Chewbacca, Leia, Orlando, R2-D2, and C-3PO. While confronting Jabba, a trap door beneath Luke is activated, and he is dropped into an underground pit in which he must fight a twenty-five foot tall monster, the rancor, without a lightsaber. What really strikes me about this scene is the music a drum beat is used to mark every step of the rancor as it descends upon Luke, ready to rip him to shreds with its razor-sharp claws and massive fangs. Ultimately, Luke tosses a rock at a control panel, which drops the rancor’s pen gate. The gate falls just as the rancor passes under it, right before it can get at Luke, and crushes the beast.

After the rancor scene, Jabba has decided to execute Luke and company at the

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